Routine

Once upon a time, I thought that relationships faced a choice: either excitement or stability. They either were spontaneous and thrilling– like a roller coaster ride– or they were calm, predictable, and maybe even a little bit boring… but never both at the same time! Early on in romantic connections, everything seemed new and electric. Couples would stay up late talking! They made last-minute plans; acted on impulses without overanalyzing too much. However as time went by with these pairs more routines naturally formed for them. And when those routines came along, I began wondering if maybe they were losing something essential from their connection.

I mistook comfort for complacency and familiarity for boredom— and this misunderstanding created lots of unnecessary anxiety about what happens to love as it grows older. Over time I realized that the real challenge wasn’t routine itself but balance! Done in excess, routine can make relationships feel stale (as well as mechanical); meanwhile, too much spontaneity may lead them down an unpredictable road toward chaos. Learning how to balance these two forces changed my experience with love entirely!